WOW, what a short road it has been to this year. Soon i will be taking senior pictures, ordering a cap and gown....and hopefully watching my son walk down the first isle of his new life.
How do i feel? Well, so far very proud....sad, yes sad. Here i am holding a little miracle whose all of 19 months wondering where the time went. What will i do when he leaves. My whole life has been spent circling around a family, kids, needs, schedules....
Now i understand why i see groups of older (not old yet, just older) people sitting around talking about the old days. Or drinking. What does one do when they are 40, 50 and find themselves able to have a life of their own all of a sudden. it hits us almost like we weren't seeing it coming...like the last 18 years we thought was going to last till we got old or died.
Hmmm...
...should i go back to college, find a hobby...maybe ill learn crochet, be one of them gals who carries a bag of yarn everywhere with me to work on christmas gifts.
...I could go ut and buy a motorcycle. i know how to ride...hrm, id have to affix a seat for the little man.
...Maybe ill focus on his life like i never could with the older ones...ill home school him or open a daycare or learning place for others to be home schooled.
...Maybe ill learn to cook....wait i already know how to cook...but would have no one to cook for.
...I could go to the land fill and find old crap, fix and refinish it and sell it in my front yard.
Who knows...all i know is it will be so scary and different.
I am hoping this year i will be able to do more with them. Make the best out of the end of their child hoods. All i do hope is i made them good people. who will have good lives. not go thru the shit i have in my life. But what decent parent doesn't with that for their kids.
I plan to not think about how fast this year will go by.
For now...i go cook dinner. Omelets w/hashbrowns and toast.
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